"Hey Sam."

"Greetings, Josh, son of Noah. How goes your evening?"

"Oh God."

"The banquet is going well enough, one assumes. What business have you here?"

"You were reading again, weren't you?"

"Indeed. And what glorious pages it had been!"

"What did I say before we leave the house this morning, Sam?" Son of the Lyman house swore under his breath. "What did I say would happen to your hard-covered-1966-limited-edition-set 'Lord of the Rings' if you speaks like this again?"

"I do not understand-"

"I'm not kidding about burning your books, Sam!"

"I fear such barbaric acts are unbecoming of deputy Chiefs of Staff."

"And I don't care!"

"Alas! My good Josh! There is no need to get angry."

"You've been doing this since we screened the damn movie last week!" Josh cried in his frustration. "You went back and read the book, then you started talking to me like this ever since!"

"Such anguish! I thought you rather liked the movie."

"The movie is fine! But you talking in verses while we're having sex is not funny!"

"You think the elf Legolas fair, do you not?"

"But you're not an elf! So stop speaking like that!"

"Perhaps I shall grow my hair long and dye them blonde..."

"You're doing this to me just because I happened to mention Legolas is cute?" Realization dawned in Josh's widened eyes.

"Four times, Josh." Sam answered with a smile, sweet as honey and shined like the stars on a moonless night. "You spoke of the gold of his hair, the fine features of his face, the grace in his movements -"

"Fine, so I mentioned it a few times." Josh replied defensively. "But do you have to speak like that for three days just to punish me?"

"Listen to the rhythms! Listen to the rhymes, my dear man!" Sam mockingly shook his head and sighed. "Such beautiful prose. Is it not a wondrous song demanding to be sung? Is it not divine music befallen on our mortal ears?"

"It's not fair, Sam! I noticed that you smiled every time when Strider came on screen! I didn't get jealous!"

"Yet checking out elven ass I did not."

"I couldn't help that Legolas was the only one wearing tight pants!" Josh ran his hands through his hair. "This is unbelievable!"

Sam looked at him and smiled smugly. He was going to speak just as something hit the window between Toby's and Sam's offices.

"Sam!" The Communication Director shouted from his office. "Stop talking like that and come over here!"

"You should head back to the banquet, for your presence will be missed." Sam grabbed a folder from his desk, and kissed Josh fleetingly on his lips as he passed him out the door. "Tonight, my love. Until tonight."